Practicing Presence

The other day my two boys were refusing to do their homework and I found myself sliding in to a state of frustration and emotional reactivity.  I could sense the drive to push my preference to get it done and assert some kind of control over the situation. 

Thanks to my meditation practice, I was able to take a pause, walk away and ask myself what was happening below the surface.  What were the feelings?  I felt helpless.  I felt powerless.  I felt vulnerable.   

I often think that presence is nothing more than a silent pause, full of power.

It is the space between our thoughts and our actions that enables us to experience them with a detachment that frees us from the compulsion to act them out– the moment when we can tune in to what is right in front of us calling for a deeper look. 

After naming my feelings, I took a minute to sit with them and just FEEL.  Breathing through the feelings allowed me to accept them and opened up mental space to consider how I might respond differently.   

Presence is a state of inner spaciousness where we not only notice what’s happening around us, but we also can see what is happening within us.  

I realized...if I am always in a state of reaction, then I start to lose touch with who I really am and what is important to me – namely, my connection with my kids.  Thankfully, when I returned to the scene I was able to let go of my wish for homework to get done and instead asked questions about their point of view, what they were feeling.  Conversations like this always feel more productive and create understanding that is hard to access when I’m reacting from my emotions. 

Practicing presence allows the solutions to problems to not only become more self-evident, but it tunes me in to the still, small voice that invites me to enjoy, exist and be here now in this perfect moment, just as it is. 

Where are moments this week where you can pause and practice the art of presence?