When Emotions Run Wild

We are all human, chock full of thoughts, feelings and words that create our behaviors and realities.  And also, we are imperfect - full of messy moments and mistakes that offer us the chance to look and learn and grow.  

Sometimes, our feelings take charge, claim a front seat and start running the show. 

This weekend, I had one of those moments.  I found myself in a situation with a friend where I felt cornered and attacked.  Words were said that harbored judgment toward my parenting and I was flooded and overwhelmed with anger.  Any tools I had been placing in my belt of nonviolent communication seemed completely inaccessible and I cursed and said things that were not pretty. 

Life is full of contradictions and chaos, nothing is perfect and in every moment we are doing our best to remake pieces of who we are. 

I had a choice: I could berate and judge myself, asking why can’t I do better/be better than this, covering myself with a heavy load of criticism and guilt.  OR I could step back, examine what was beneath the feelings and attempt to understand WHY, WHAT and HOW can I learn from them. 

Could I accept myself as a human who lives into the messy and raw parts of who I am and try again? 

After a night deep reflection, what I learned is that it’s OK to express and to feel and examine what I want to do differently next time.  Messy moments provide new awareness, insights and perspectives on who we are and how we can change.  We can come to know ourselves more deeply and bring that understanding back to our relationships.  Taking this angle turns what appears to be a failure into an opportunity for growth.   

If there is anything I wish for every person on this planet, it is that we might allow ourselves the gift of forgiveness, compassion and empathy when we make mistakes - taking ownership of what’s ours to claim and gently giving ourselves permission to start over. 

It’s never too late to begin again.