Creating Confidence
Confidence.
It’s something we all innately want yet takes time to build.
Confidence is that part of us that wants to feel certain about our capabilities and assured in who we are and what we can accomplish.
I don’t know about you, but I can *confidently* say that my years in middle school were the ones where my self-esteem suffered the most. Can anyone relate??
The awkwardness of figuring out social norms, the ever-shifting hormones that felt like tectonic plates colliding, and the pressure to miraculously match my clothing in an acceptable color palette undeniably stretched my ability to believe in myself. Everything that was built into my innocent elementary -aged belief system crumbled to pieces and I doubted myself EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.
It took a long time for my middle-school-self to work through these doubts and form new beliefs I could stand on. Overcoming little hurdle after little hurdle reinstated thoughts like “I can make other (socially awkward) friends!” and “I’m pretty sure I can figure out how to match my (now abysmal) 80s-era neon-colored wardrobe!”
But how, pray tell, does one overcome said doubts and build a sturdy sense of self? A few tips that helped me along the way:
1) Let go of what other people think – don't give your power away!
2) Do more of what makes you happy - happy feelings and dopamine breed more belief in self
3) Stand up for yourself – hearing your voice as an advocate for YOU shifts uncertainty to conviction
Sometimes it takes a whole lotta noticing, experimenting, falling down, and course-correcting to get to that place of certainty again.
Even now in mid-life, you’d think I got this thing figured out. While I get the joy of riding the high waves of feeling great about who I am most days, I STILL have those where insecurity creeps in and I go back to that anxious teenager who wonders how-on-earth I can make florescent green leg warmers match these (god-awful) neon spandex???
But then I remember....I don’t REALLY need to care about what everyone else thinks. I can be who I am, my own brand-of-uniqueness. I can keep stepping out in faith and choose things that make me happy. Which may, in fact, involve some big hair and neon spandex, thankyouverymuch.
