3 Ways Pleasure Heals Perfectionism

Perfectionism is a PLAGUE.

It robs you of the present moment, places you in a position of fear, and drags you through the mud of never. good. enough. Not to mention, it prevents us from feeling pleasure. For many perfectionists, pleasure elicits their inner Goldilocks - too much and they feel lavish, sinful even; too little and they feel resentful and deprived OR overly proud of the self-control they’ve exerted.  

I know people who won’t grant themselves pleasure unless they’ve toiled sufficiently, gone above and beyond, exerted blood, sweat and tears….and even then, only allow themselves a morsel, lest they “overindulge.”  They may even maintain so much willpower for so long that their body finally bursts and they go on a pleasure bender!

Let me help you get out of this restrictive rut by offering three ways you can use pleasure to heal perfectionism:

Say “Desire” vs “Expect”

The word desire expresses what we want and connects to a sense of “feeling good.” Expectation implies obligation, which comes off as a demand and reduces motivation. Think “want to” versus “should” and your emotions will shift to a more pleasurable state.

Release Restriction

Letting go of control is the antidote to perfectionism, but I know - easier said than done. Start by allowing yourself small things you would normally restrict. Maybe it’s a few bites of chocolate, a hot, uninterrupted bath, or a glass of wine with your favorite movie playing. Slowly allow yourself to indulge, moment by moment.

Use the Mantra, “Messy, not Perfect”

If you go a little overboard on the chocolate, try your best not to judge yourself. Remember that there is no “right way”’ to do it. It’s all about learning to play and let go. The only thing you need to do is keep relaxing and staying open as you make choices that feel good to you.

Can you already feel the pleasure seeping in?  By dipping your toes into your desires and letting go of control, you’ll naturally start to feel more ease, lightness, and greater bliss in your body.  Your attachment to “the right way” will dissolve and before long, you might just catch yourself saying “the pleasure’s all MINE.”

For ideas on how to get started, reach out and I’ll send you my free resource: 5 Easy Ways to Cultivate Pleasure to jumpstart your body and mind into deeper delight.